I promise to stop with the Christmas stuff after this, but I have a story that is too good not to tell.
Joe’s grandparents have been married for 61 years. I can hardly wrap my brain around how long 61 years is. They have lived in the same house since their youngest was a baby, close to 50 years. Both are absolute characters. Grandma is best described as feisty — she’s shorter than me (I know, I KNOW, that is hard to do) and when she’s fired up, all 4′10″ of her are in a tizzy. She doesn’t drive, and we’re not sure if she just forgot how or if she never really learned.
The first time I met her, the first thing out of her mouth was “Want a beer honey?” I said no thanks, so then she said “Want a gim loman sebn?” That’s how it sounded, anyway. I looked to my new boyfriend to bail me out, who whispered “It’s her signature drink. A gin lemon seven. We’re pretty sure she’s trying to pickle herself to save on funeral costs.”
Good to know.
I settled on a water, and then she asked me repeatedly if I’d like something to drink. “I’m ok, I have something.” Eventually I caved and had a few sips of an Old Milwaukee so she didn’t feel bad.
Grandpa smiles a lot. He’s lost a lot of weight recently and now his teeth are a bit too big for his face, but I just think it makes him cuter. He goes out and about around town and visits quite a bit. Grandpa is mostly quiet, and I bet you can’t imagine WHY.
So, Grandma has had a tree in the front yard that just tortures her. She personifies it like it’s Lord Voldemort himself. As it happens, the tree is a pine tree. Thrifty, resourceful Grandma in her infinite wisdom and intense desire to always be in a tizzy about SOMETHING called the city administration and said she’d love them to have HER PRECIOUS TREE for their Christmas celebrations. They said they’d love to take a look.
Turns out, they LOVE the idea and are going to use it either as the big tree for the tree lighting or to make wreaths. The city is going to haul the tree out of the yard AND grind the stump for them FREE of charge.
I didn’t think it was possible, but I love them even more now. And Grandpa can’t stop smiling. City suckers.
What You've Been Saying